The Odd Fellowship
by Father Hulk
Summary: The Fellowship is living in a condo together. Can they handle it? In episode one, Boromir hatches a brilliant scheme... except without the brilliant part.


The Odd Fellowship 

_A _Lord of the Rings _Fanfic by Father Hulk, edited by Jurodan_

_**A/N: **Greetings and Salutations, my dear readers! I come before you now with a hysterical Lord of the Rings sitcom! Imagine, the Fellowship all living together in a modern-day condo! Well, actually, you don't have to imagine it anymore, because here it is! Thousands of credits for this story go out to my friend Jurodan, who is my executive editor on this project. Okay, enjoy!_

Episode 1: Boromir Hatches a Plan 

BZZT! BZZT! BZZT! BZZT! The harsh buzzing of Gandalf the White's alarm clock sounded again and again quite loudly, but it took more than a full minute for the modern-day wizard-slash-history teacher to stir from his slumbers.

"Will you turn that thing off!" Came an aggravated shout from down the hallway. "I don't get up for another two hours!"

"Well it's not _my_ fault that school starts at 7:30 am, Gimli son of Gloin!" Gandalf shouted back. Muttering ill things about dwarves, he rose from his bed, put on his bathrobe, and trudged towards the bathroom.

The bathroom door, however, was tightly shut, and through it, Gandalf could hear water running and the tune of "The Green Dragon" being hummed through teeth currently being brushed.

"Open up!" Gandalf roared, pounding on the door. "Which of you hobbits is in there? You know I need the bathroom first!"

"I will be out in a moment," came the voice of Peregrin Took. In a somewhat more taunting tone, he said, "I thought wizards were supposed to be patient."

Gandalf resisted the urge to fling an obscenity from his lips, and instead muttered, "Ugh, hobbits…" and waited.

"I've got next in the bathroom!" shouted Merry Brandybuck, dashing around the corner.

"No, you do not!" shouted Gandalf, for a moment he seemed to grow taller, and a cruel breeze blew through the hall and the light faded. Merry flinched and darted off.

Meanwhile, at the door to the bathroom in the master bedroom, Frodo Baggins knocked.

"Who is it?" came a voice over the sound of a running shower.

"It's me, Sam," said Frodo. "May I come in?"

"Yes, of course, Mr. Frodo," said Sam.

"What are you going to do in there?" asked Merry from the doorway.

"What do you mean?" Frodo asked uncertainly.

"Oh come on, Frodo," Merry said, sauntering over. "We all see it. How you and Sam are so… 'close.' The eye contact, the smiles… just admit it!"

"Sam is my friend!" Frodo said hotly. "Nothing more."

"Yeah, sure… Then why does…"

"Merry! Gimli bought us a new box of Coco Puffs!" shouted Pippin from the kitchen.

"Gotta run," Merry said, and he bolted from the room and ran into the kitchen, where Pippin was tearing open the box of chocolate cereal.

"Why do you buy that for them, Gimli?" asked the calm voice of Aragorn from the hallway. "You know it isn't healthy."

Gimli glared up at the ranger. "I've been eating stuff of that nature—and worse, may I remind you—all of my life, and I'll be cursed if I'm not as healthy as on ox!"

"Where is my jumpsuit?" asked a frantic Legolas, dashing into the kitchen.

"What?" asked Aragorn, who was pouring himself a cup of coffee from the pot on the counter.

"My jumpsuit for the band is missing!" Legolas cried. "We have a big audition today, and I need that jumpsuit!"

"Well, none of us have it," said Aragorn, taking a slow sip.

Sam, having gotten out of his shower, walked in and looked around the kitchen. "What's for breakfast?" he asked.

"Well for you it would be second breakfast," said Pippin, grinning.

"What?"  
"Because you've already had a platter of Frodo sausages!" Merry finished, and he and Pippin cracked up.

"Shut up, you!" Sam shouted. "That's a filthy lie!"

"Calm, Samwise, calm," soothed Aragorn. "Are they really worth it?"

"No…" Sam said, catching his breath. "They're not."

"You'll be back," Pippin jeered, making a face.

Sam grumbled and opened the cabinet.

"We saved you some Coco Puffs," Merry said.

"No thanks," Sam muttered. "I'm just going to have some of Gandalf's cereal." He said, removing the box of Wheaties and pouring himself a bowl.

Frodo, meanwhile, had just gotten out of the shower, and had put on his work uniform, slipping the Ring around his neck.

"_Frodo…"_ it whispered, _"Frodo!"_

"What do you want?" Frodo murmured, his face paling.

_"Frodo… Do you want to play chess, Frodo? Hee hee hee."_

"Go away!" Frodo whispered.

_"I shall return."_ Whispered the voice, and Frodo felt the presence leave him.

"Well look at Frodo, all calm and collected," said Pippin as Frodo entered the kitchen. "Lucky him. He just gets to drive around all day!"

"Do you honestly think it's easy being a delivery boy?" Frodo asked, glaring.

"It's better than being a bartender, isn't it, Merry?"

"Absolutely. Pippin and I have to deal with the ultimate dregs of human society."

"You have no idea the stress I go through!" Frodo said.

"Boromir!" Legolas said, snapping his fingers, a lightbulb suddenly flickering on inside his head "He doesn't go into the lab until noon today… I bet he stole my jumpsuit and thought he could sleep through my malice! Well he was wrong!"

Legolas charged into Boromir's room, and slapped the sleeping Gondan on the face. "Wake up. Wake up!"

"No, Daddy, I don't want to go to school… the teacher's a dwarf and she looks like a man!" Boromir murmured, turning away from the elf.

"Wake up!" Legolas yelled.

"Huh? What? What do you want?" Boromir said, groggily.

"I want my jumpsuit!"

"Your what?"

"My jumpsuit!"

"I don't have your jumpsuit," Boromir said, rubbing his eyes. "Now let me go back to sleep."

"I'll have your head on a…!" Legolas began, picking up Boromir by his shirt.

"Legolas!" roared Gandalf from the doorway. "I put your jumpsuit in the washing machine!"

"…Oh." Legolas said awkwardly. "Oh. Sorry, buddy," he said, tucking Boromir back in and patting him on the shoulder. "Sleep tight."

Boromir grumbled and closed his eyes. His alarm was set to go off at 10:30. And when it did, he would put into motion his plan…

"You're late, Baggins!"

"I'm sorry, sir," said Frodo, rushing into the pizzeria out of breath.

"I didn't ask for your apologies," his boss snapped. "You're always late. It's 9:00 and we already have three orders waiting to be delivered. Get cracking!"

"Yes, sir!" Frodo said, and he grabbed the hot-boxes on top of the stove and ran outside to his car. "This job is driving me crazy," he muttered sourly. He tossed the boxes into the back seat, got in and drove down the driveway.

Suddenly, inside his head: _"Frodo… Frodo!"_

Frodo clutched the Ring, which had grown quite heavy. "No…" he whispered, "Not now…"

_"Delivering pizza, Frodo?"_

"Yes."

_"Where are you taking it?"_

"Why do you need to know?" Frodo asked with hostility.

_"Tell me where it's going!"_ the voice roared, and Frodo cried out in pain as an invisible force gripped his privates and began to squeeze.

"Okay! Okay! Let go!" Frodo cried. "I'm taking the first one to the church on Madison Avenue!"

_"Let's have some fun, shall we, Frodo? When you get the pizza to the church, this is what you will do…"_ The Ring whispered its plan to Frodo.

"No!" Frodo said. "There's no way I'm doing that! I'll lose my job!"

_"Don't you want to have fun, Frodo? I thought that's what hobbits liked to do."_

"Not on my job!" Frodo said. "Now get!"

_"Fine… but know this: I shall return!"_ the voice hissed, and it faded. Frodo shook his head to clear it, and then nudged the car down the road towards the first delivery address. It was going to be a LONG day.

"Good morning, good morning!" said Gimli pleasantly as he entered his office at Dewey, Scruya and Howe Computer Firm.

"Good morning, sir!" said his co-worker, Lela, daughter of Laina. "Ready for the big day?"

"Big day?" Gimli said, furrowing an eyebrow. "What big day?"

"The upgrade day!" she gushed. "Don't you remember? Mr. Frink wanted us to upgrade all the computers in the building to Windows XP today! It'll be such fun!"

"All the computers!" Gimli said with a start. He looked around the room and counted at least 40 computers. He sighed and said, "Well, at least with your help, it won't be so bad." He winked at the girl with a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, I can't help you today," Lela said. "Mr. Frink said he had some very personal work he wanted me to help him with, so you're on your own." She stroked his beard. "I'm sure you'll be fine." She said, winking back.

"Hrmph," Gimli grunted, looking around the room again. "Well, better start now then." He grabbed the box of Windows XP CD's and sat down at the first terminal.

"Hey Oramir, could you get a Bunsen burner ready for me over there?" called Boromir from his corner of the lab.

"Coming right up," said his assistant, Oramir. "How hot do you want it?"

"Hot enough to heat this formula I'm making," Boromir replied. "The boss wants a liquid that can be applied in dropper form that removes chicken pox one by one." He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I could be doing bigger and better things."

He gripped the vial in a pair of tongs and held it over the burner. Oramir stood by, watching. Boromir was thankful for his company. Oramir had been his partner and friend for more than five years here at the Isaac H. Newton Academy of Science and Chemistry, and they knew almost everything about each other.

"Oramir," Boromir said after a bit, "Do you ever get the feeling that we're being held back? Restrained, if you will? Suppressed?"

"Are you kidding?" Oramir replied. "We're here in a small lab shtupped in the tiniest corner of the Academy, making formulas for Chicken Pox. Of course I feel I'm being held back! But there's nothing we can do about it," he sulked. "All those bigshot Principal Scientists are the ones making the big time stuff… and nobody will ever give us a big assignment because of the goldfish incident."

Boromir shuddered as he remembered it: he and Oramir had finally been given their first big assignment: an allergy medication with no side affects. They stayed up for nights and days on end working on it… they were so close to pulling it off, when, while doing some lab work at home, Pippin's pet goldfish, which he kept out in the shed that Boromir used as a makeshift lab, got knocked out of its bowl and into the mixture. It wouldn't have been a problem, however, had Boromir realized it. But he didn't, and so after the product's release, millions of people all over the world grew gills. It was the most public of the Academy's humiliations. Boromir and Oramir were shunned and reduced to doing worthless, petty work, and were not well thought of by any of their peers.

"Well that's all in the past," Boromir said comfortingly, "And besides, we'll become famous in due time." For little did anybody know that the plan he planned to activate after work would finally get him his heart's one true desire: the One Ring! Once he had it in his possession, he could wield its power to sneak into the Academy's rival labs, gather their top-secret information, bring it back to home base and use it as his own. Then he would be loved by the entire Academy, and become a world-famous scientist! He looked at his watch… a half hour to go.

Suddenly, Boromir's Nextel Walkie-Talkie beeped. "Hey Boromir, are you there?" It was his colleague, Albert.

"What is it?" Boromir asked into the phone.

"There's somebody here to see you. Can you come down to the lobby?"

"I'll be right there," Boromir said, snapping the phone shut. He asked Oramir to look after things, and then he strode down the long hallway to the lobby. However, when he got there, it was empty. "Hello?" he called, looking around. Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder, and when he turned around he was grabbed at the throat by a long, callous, slimy black arm and lifted off the ground.

"Oh," Boromir sputtered, struggling to loosen the black fingers so he could breathe, "H-h-ello Grandornagoth. P-p-pleasant to see you!" Grandornagoth was a female Uruk-hai he dated more than a month ago.

"Why haven't you called?" she rasped. "I sat by the phone for a month!"

"W-w-well, see, the thing is, I seemed to have misplaced your number, and…"

"Don't feed me that crap!" she roared, her grip on his throat tightening. "Didn't you have FUN at the Dagger Through The Heart Bar with me? Hanging out with all of my friends?"

Boromir recalled the incident. He had become drunk one night, and foolishly asked Grandornagoth out. She took him to an Orcish bar that stank of rotten meat and feces, and they shared a booth with three other Uruk-hai. While drinking some stuff that he hoped wasn't blood, he suddenly became sober and realized what he had done. He quickly faked an illness and made the she-Orc drive him home. He ripped up her number and vowed never to speak or think of the incident again.

"Y-yes, I had a g-g-great time," Boromir lied. "Please, put me down?"

Grandornagoth growled but set Boromir on his feet. "Call me this weekend," she said. "I have tickets to see The Good Saurons in Concert."

"Okay," Boromir lied again, shifting his eyes.

"You'll do it," the she-Orc warned, "Or I'll have your head on a plate." And cracking her neck, she lumbered out of the building.

Boromir grimaced. "I've got to get that ring now… to protect me from her!" He looked at his watch; still a few more hours before he would activate his plan. He walked back to his lab and found Oramir waiting for him.

"Ready to close up, buddy?" he asked.

"Yep," Boromir said. "We should make ready to test that formula tomorrow."

"Want to go get a beer or something?"

"I'm sorry, I can't," Boromir said. "I'm meeting my friend across town."

"All right, well, I'll see you tomorrow, then." Oramir said, locking the door behind them.

"Farewell," Boromir said as he left. His next destination: Reggie's Bar, where Phase 1 would begin.

Meanwhile, back at Dewey, Scruya, and Howe, Gimli had successfully upgraded ten of the office's forty computers up to Windows XP.

"Grr, well I'm a quarter-done, at least," he grumbled to himself. Upgrading was a long and weary process, and it had been three hours since Gimli arrived. He had just inserted the CD into the eleventh computer when a large warning appeared on the screen.

**WARNING: DISC ERROR! WARNING: DISC ERROR!**

"What in the devil is this?" Gimli roared. "It's let me do so many already!"

"Check the CD," advised another technician in the room, Herman. "It may have gotten scratched.

Gimli removed the CD from the drive, and gaped at the long, deep scratches in it. "How could this have happened?" he cried. "It was fine for the last computer! Then I put the CD down on top of the pencil cup to get a cup of coffee…" Suddenly, he realized what he had done. "Confound it all!" He laid the CD on the table and smashed in into pieces with his axe. "Now I've got to order another CD from Microsoft!" He seized the book of phone numbers and dialed Microsoft's technical division.

_Welcome to Microsoft. Please hold._

And so, resting his bearded chin on his fist, he waited.

It was about 3:30, and in the condo where the Fellowship lived, Merry and Pippin, who didn't have work until 5:30, were smoking Longbottom Leaf in the living room while reading comic books. Gandalf, who had just arrived home from his teaching job and was trying to grade papers, looked up at them, annoyed.

"Would you kindly mind smoking that outside?" he said irritably. "I thought we agreed no smoking in the house."

"No, _you_ agreed to that," Pippin said smugly, taking a large drag. "I believe Merry and I sat here in silence."

"Fool of a Took," Gandalf growled. "Take that foul leaf outside now, or face my anger!"

A fire seemed to be flaring in Gandalf's eyes, and the two hobbits quickly scampered from the room. "Hobbits," Gandalf muttered, and returned to grading history papers.

"Hello, Gandalf," said Aragorn, who had just walked in. Aragorn was the general manager of the local baseball team, the Stallions, who were never really very good, and lost horribly every season. The MLB was thinking of cutting them from the league, and many of the players were thinking of quitting. Because it was the off-season right now, Aragorn stayed home and relaxed, or helped Gandalf with things, and so on.

"Hello, Aragorn," Gandalf said, looking up with a smile. "Where have you been?"

"Legolas wanted me to help him clean his guitar," said the Ranger. "He has a big audition tonight in New York City."

"Goodnes," Gandalf said. "So what have you planned for the rest of the day?"

"Well, this evening I thought I'd go to Reggie's for a while, you know, to check out the ladies."

Gandalf chuckled heartily, "That's good! Always good to get a glimpse of the other side of the world."

Aragorn smiled. "Would you like to come, Gandalf?"

"No, that's all right!" Gandalf said. "After grading these papers, I was just going to relax and watch some television. You go, have a good time."

"Okay," said Aragorn.

"Hey, Aragorn!" said an elvish voice from down the hall. "Help me tune my guitar!"

Aragorn sighed and walked down the hall.

"Grr, that's twice I've heard Schubert's 9th Symphony in C!" Gimli roared, who, at 5:00, was still on hold with Microsoft. "When will they let me speak to someone!"

Suddenly, the phone clicked, and a perky voice said, "Welcome to Microsoft, thank you for waiting. My name is Barry, how may I help you?"

"It's about time!" Gimli snarled. "You made me wait for so long, I had half a mind to hang up on you!"

"I'm sorry for the delay, sir," said Barry. "What can I do for you?"

"I need another Windows XP CD," Gimli said.

"Why?"

"I scratched up the other one, by mistake." Gimli said.

"Why did you do that?" Barry asked, his tone souring.

"I told you it was an accident!" Gimli snapped.

"No, you said it was by mistake," Barry replied.

"Well what the hell's the difference?" Gimli said sharply. "Can you give me a new CD, or should I just download Windows XP from Shareaza?"

"One moment," said Barry coldly. "Let me transfer you to our products department. CLICK!" And Gimli was back on hold.

"Grr…." Gimli growled. "Again with being on hold! I'll have their heads on a silver tray!"

At 5:30, Boromir was seated at a table in Reggie's Bar, sipping an ale and looking around. He was waiting for Aragorn to show up, as he knew he would. Aragorn was an essential part of his plan to obtain the Ring. Too often had Aragorn interfered when he would try to snatch the Ring, so tonight he would keep Aragorn occupied, and leave the Ring free for the taking. Of course, he would try his best not to hurt Frodo, but priorities were priorities.

Finally, at 6, Aragorn walked in, looked around, and took a seat at the bar. Boromir smiled, and then looked around himself. His plan was to find a lovely lady to keep Aragorn busy, then sneak back to her place and order a pizza from Frodo's place. With any luck, Frodo would deliver it, and then he'd "diplomatically" take the Ring from him. It was the perfect plan.

As if on cue, a gorgeous, stunning blonde walked in. She was tall, had long flowing blonde hair, and was wearing a dazzling red dress with sparkles on it.

"_A woman from the red-light district… perfect!" _Boromir thought to himself. She sat down next to Boromir and ordered a shaken martini.

"What's your name, baby?" Boromir said, trying to sound smooth.

She looked him over. "My name's Connie. Connie Lingus."

"Well, Miss Lingus," Boromir said, "I was wondering if perchance…"

"Not interested," she interrupted, casting a sour eye over him.

"Ah. Yes, well, I have a little proposition for you."

"Do tell," she said, sipping her drink. "I won't have your baby, if that's what you were going to say."

Boromir blinked a few times, and said, "No, no… All I want you to do is go keep that gentleman over there company for the evening." He pointed to Aragorn.

"What's in it for me?"

Boromir produced a clean, crisp 100 dollar bill.

"You got another one of those things?" she asked, her tone turning a bit arrogant.

"I beg your pardon?" Boromir said indignantly.

She shrugged. "All right, it's your choice." And turned back to the bar.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled, fumbling in his pocket, and he pulled out another bill. "But don't let me down on this."

"For 200 bucks, no way." She said, throwing her blonde hair behind her shoulder and she got up and proceeded to make time with Aragorn. But as she was walking over there, Boromir, with those quick reflexes that Gondan men are born with, snatched her purse.

"Heh, heh, heh, excellent." Boromir snickered. He procured her driver's license and scribbled down the address, and helped himself to her house keys. Then he got up and rushed over to where Connie and Aragorn were.

"Miss, you forgot your purse back there," he said, out of breath. "Oh! Hello Aragorn," he said.

"What are you up to?" Aragorn asked, immediately suspicious.

"I'm returning her purse," Boromir said, "Nothing more."

Aragorn eyed him dubiously but nodded.

Boromir bowed and walked towards the exit of the bar.

"Jalepeno Harry's Pizza!" said the voice at the end of the phone.

"Yes, I'd like to order a pizza," said Boromir, sitting on the leather couch in the home of Connie Lingus, feet up on the glass coffee table.

"What would you like?"

"Large pie, pepperoni and meatball. The address is 1432 Gerblansky Street, here in New York."

"Ok, it will be there in about 10-15 minutes," said the voice.

"Excellent."

Boromir sat back, and looked around the living room. It had a thick carpet on the floor, and bubble-decorated wallpaper. A lava lamp stood on one end table, and there was a TV against the wall.

Suddenly, Boromir thought he heard footsteps outside the front door.

"_Boy, that was fast,"_ he thought to himself. He crept over to the door and looked through the peephole. But it wasn't Frodo he saw, but instead, Aragorn and Connie! They were coming back here to make love!

"SHIT!" Boromir cried, and he turned to try to bolt, but the door opened right at that time, smacking him right in the back of the head, and he fell into the closet near the door, and the closet door closed after him.

"Good thing I keep a key under the mat," Connie said.

"Hey, did you hear something?" Aragorn asked, looking around.

Connie shook her head. "Nope."

"That's odd. I could have sworn I heard something…"

"Maybe it came from the master bedroom," Connie said. "Let's go look up there."

"Okay." He followed Connie upstairs.

Five minutes later, Boromir's consciousness returned to him, and he exclaimed, "Damn! I'm late!" He struggled to his feet and burst out of the closet, still a bit disoriented, and went to the door, which opened _again_ and hit him in the head again, knocking him on his back.

"What was that?" Frodo wondered, peeking in with the pizza. "Boromir?"

"What's going on here?" Aragorn cried, rushing downstairs with his shirt off. He beheld Boromir lying prone on the ground, and Frodo standing over him holding a pizza.

"Did you order a pizza?" Frodo asked Aragorn.

"No, I didn't…" Aragorn muttered. He looked to Connie. "Did _you_ order a pizza?"

"No!" she said. "And what are _you_ doing here?" she snapped at Boromir.

"Have you two met?" Aragorn asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, at Reggie's."

"What _were_ you doing at Reggie's, anyway?" Aragorn inquired.

"Nothing," Boromir murmured, "Nothing at all, really…"

"Will someone _please_ tell me what is going on?" Frodo asked, still holding the pizza box.

"That's what I'd like to know," Aragorn said. "Why are _you_ here?"

"I was told to bring a pizza to this address!" Frodo said, flustered.

"But I wasn't home!" Connie said. "I was out with this guy!"

"So how could a delivery be placed?" Aragorn murmured, thinking hard, and then he saw Boromir trying to crawl out of sight. "It must have been you."

"No…" Boromir wheezed, still woozy from the knock in the head.

"You had my purse!" Connie said, recalling the encounter. "You took my keys! You son of a bitch!"

"That still doesn't explain the pizza," Frodo said. "Boromir, were you _that_ hungry?"

"All I wanted…" Boromir began, sniffling.

"The Ring… _that's_ what you wanted!" Aragorn said, putting the pieces together. "You knew Frodo was on call, didn't you? You thought you could play a trick on all of us?"

Boromir shakily rose to his feet. "I think… I can explain all this. All I was going to do was ask the boy to share the pizza with me, and we would have a man-to-man chat, and talk about things, and…"

"Don't even bother to finish," Aragorn snapped. "I see right through you."

"Please forgive me, my captain," Boromir said somberly, bowing.

Aragorn shook his head. "It's all right," he said. He put his hand on Frodo's shoulder. "Let's just go."

"Here," Connie said, tossing his shirt down to him. "And just so you know, normally I'd have a problem with y'all just leaving like this, but it's cool because your buddy here already took care of your bill."

"You _paid_ her?" Aragorn said, gaping at Boromir.

"It's a _long_ story," Boromir moaned as they walked out the door.

Night came, and the remaining Fellowship members came home from their jobs. Gandalf looked over at the new arrivees, and shrugged. Somehow, seeing Aragorn dragging Boromir behind him with Frodo in tow no longer surprised him.

"Did you boys have fun tonight?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"I _don't_ want to talk about it!" Frodo spat. "I'm going to shower."

"I believe Samwise is in the shower," Gandalf called after him, but Frodo didn't seem to hear.

Pippin and Merry looked at each other and grinned, and Pippin said, "We'll be right back." And they got up and left.

At that time, Gimli was _still_ on hold with Microsoft, when another voice popped on and said, "Thanks for holding, Sir. What can I do for you?"

"I'm trying to get a bloody Windows XP CD from you people!" Gimli roared.

"Absolutely. Hold please. click."

"THAT DOES IT!" Gimli bellowed. He put the phone down, and picked up his axe. "This is what I think of your operating system!" he snarled, slamming his axe into the nearest computer.

Sparks flew from the broken monitor, and a current of electricity surged up the metal axe and shocked Gimli, and then all the lights in the city blinked, and went out.

"God damnit!" he roared.

Back at the house, Frodo was walking into the bathroom right as the lights went out.

"Huh… that's odd," he said to himself, and he proceeded to try and feel his way to the sink. Suddenly, his hand touched something warm and wet. "What is that?"

A hand touched his out of the darkness, feeling around in the dark. "What's going on?" said the voice of Samwise.

"Sam!" cried Frodo in alarm.

"Ah HA!" crowed the triumphant voice of Pippin, who flicked on a flashlight: Frodo was standing within body contact range of Sam, who was naked and dripping wet.

"Uh…" Merry said, taking a step back. Frodo let out a yell and leapt back. They were so shocked that they couldn't look away.

Sam looked around, blinking, and then he realized what was happening. "What are you all staring at?" he snapped, grabbing a towel and hastily covering up.

"We've revealed the truth!" Merry said. "At last!"

"That does it!" Sam growled, "Come here, you!" he charged after Merry, who laughed and ran from the room. As Sam passed him, Pippin grabbed the towel and yanked it off.

"Just wait for it," Pippin said, winking at Frodo. "He's probably reaching the living room right about…now."

And indeed, they heard a loud thud from the living room, and Gandalf say, "Oof… what on earth…?" and then the lights came back on. "Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee!"

Frodo couldn't help but laugh.

THE END 

_**The Odd Fellowship **was written by Father Hulk and edited by Jurodan_


End file.
